User blog comment:BannedLagiacrus/Monster Appreciation Week: Kulve Taroth/@comment-24734669-20181208012335

After Deviljho came Kulve Taroth, and, TBH, she's barely any better. In fact, she can sometimes be pretty tedious.

Design is OK, I guess; despite the fact that all that gold on her body is enough to send Smaug into an epileptic fit, it's nothing to write home about. Nergigante and Xeno'jiiva have somewhat better designs, as far as I'm concerned.

Her fighting style is also OK, I guess. Although she does put up more of a fight than the disgusting disgrace that is Zorah Magdaros, she is still somewhat "meh", as her fighting style boils down to "supersized Great Jagras that can breathe lava" (speaking of such, there are way too many Fire-based monsters in this game, and half of them aren't even that good); she even has the fucking roll attack (except this time, it covers the entire area because she's so big)! Oh, yeah; expect her to spam that roll attack... over... and over... and over...

Her final phase is actually surprisingly scary. After you break all her gold armor, she starts running as fast as lightning, and she starts using a bunch of deadly attacks that would cause Lunastra to want to dump her husband in order to marry her. Not only is she able to smash her head into the ground multiple times like Gammoth can, but she's also capable of breathing lava all over the place, causing the area to get so hot that drops of gold fall from the ceiling and burn hunters to death. Pretty intense fight we have here; it's a shame that the fight ends at breaking her horns and causing her to flee in utter embarassment (perhaps at the fact that you made her indecent, you monster) rather than killing her like a truly noble hunter would... kinda reminds you of a certain shitsack that debuted in the same game, doesn't it?

Then there's the point system, which is just straight-up garbage. Why do you have to do all this tedious shit just to gain more points? Not to mention the fight is scaled to 16 goddamn players, leaving you liable to losing points just because an invisible rival team chipped off the gold on her tail. Perhaps the worst part of the fight is the Pursuit Levels; apparently, collecting all the garbage she drops gets you points (big surprise), and collecting all that stuff increases the likelihood of you breaking her parts and decreases the chances of her running away like the oversized Jagras she is; this is especially cancerous when the other invisible teams can scoop up more of her poop than you can, as well as when the Caverns of El Dorado host the only bullshit small monsters in the game (hint: they start with "Gaja" and end with "laka").

So, you may ask "Why do all these points matter? I'm sure you can just fight her normally and have a fun time, right?"

Well, the answer is that you need to do all that because of the frickin' loot she gives you! Kulve Taroth has some of the best weapons in this godforsaken game, even going as far as to have weapons for every element and status effect in the game; however, unless you have a Pursuit level of 4 or higher, you're basically shit out of luck! It doesn't matter whether you successfully repelled her or not, if you don't have your arms full with 5 tonnes of gold, you ain't getting that sexy new Lance. This monster is just such a big loot simulator that it makes Primal Carnage: Extinction feel insecure.

Oh, yeah, limiting her to multiplayer is also a dick move. Sure, if you have the PC version, you can just set up a Siege party fine and dandy, and you can have a pretty fun time fighting her. If you're on PlayStation or XBox, you're going to have to pay for online subscription just to whack a giant lizard with swords for 30 minutes straight; otherwise, you'll be subject to one of the most tedious fights of all time, bar the absolute incarnation of Satan that is Final Fantasy's Behemoth.

In all, Kulve Taroth barely breaks any ground. She does look promising, but the fact that she's a gigantic loot simulator as well as the fact that she's limited to multiplayer bogs her down a whole lot... eh, I still find her to be a much better monster than Behemoth.

Next week comes the triggered radical feminist who learned a lot from the worst monsters in this game.